We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
