LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
third nipple confirmed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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