I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
