well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
