Your face is a jimmy john
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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