U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
