She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
