Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
