She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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