He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
