I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
