I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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