what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
