i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
