Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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