So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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