The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
