Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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