I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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