bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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