i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
