Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
