She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize