wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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