fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize