Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
