I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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