if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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