Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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