Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
