I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
