That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
