I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
