Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
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Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me