i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.