So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
