Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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(617): when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble http://tfl.nu/6bym

Replies (10) Good night (1793) Bad night (812)
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(813): View more from Florida

I can't find my pants or my car

(813): View more from Florida

I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...

(561): View more from Florida

ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.

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(813): I can't find my pants or my car (813): I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell... (561): ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal. http://tfl.nu/nq8v

Replies (9) Good night (1562) Bad night (680)
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(404): View more from Georgia

What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

(678): View more from Georgia

I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

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(404): What are you wearing to our high school reunion? (678): I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?" http://tfl.nu/i3zg

Replies (27) Good night (4567) Bad night (652)
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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w

Replies (24) Good night (4237) Bad night (800)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I love tequila.

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(902): WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?! (1-902): I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey. (1-902): I love tequila. http://tfl.nu/s92h

Replies (46) Good night (6943) Bad night (984)
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(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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(207): no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod. http://tfl.nu/vf6z

Replies (29) Good night (1579) Bad night (8537)
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(661): View more from California

I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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(661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o

Replies (11) Good night (5708) Bad night (1230)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Yeah, but four times?

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(702): Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it. (1-702): Yeah, but four times? http://tfl.nu/x8r7

Replies (30) Good night (7456) Bad night (2132)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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(702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog

Replies (7) Good night (3974) Bad night (923)
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(316): View more from Kansas

How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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(316): How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/n6dt

Replies (15) Good night (2727) Bad night (1924)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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(217): I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel. http://tfl.nu/8hwr

Replies (5) Good night (2356) Bad night (937)
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(619): View more from California

Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose

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(619): Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose http://tfl.nu/7c4h

Replies (5) Good night (3109) Bad night (1003)
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(619): View more from California

you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.

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(619): you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list. http://tfl.nu/xg4q

Replies (24) Good night (2034) Bad night (719)
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(480): View more from Arizona

The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."

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(480): The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver." http://tfl.nu/f94p

Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (433)
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(970): View more from Colorado

You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

Haahahahahahhaaa

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(970): You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed. (1-970): Haahahahahahhaaa http://tfl.nu/4fhz

Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (131)

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