i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
