she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
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You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me