Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.