Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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