hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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