Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
