I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
