Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
