I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
