the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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