my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
