I seem to have left my pride at pride
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
