i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
false alarm. still invincible.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
