'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
