is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
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It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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