she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
