Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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