i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
