it was like eating out sand paper
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
