i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
