Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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