I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
