so that wasnt chicken after all
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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