Your mouth is God's brothel.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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