I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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