So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
