Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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