yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
