in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
