don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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