I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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