so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
