Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
