what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
